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Re: severe depression or brain damaged?

Posted By: Someone
Date: 28 April 2009, at 10:47 p.m.

In Response To: severe depression or brain damaged? (EMOly)

It definitely doesn't sound like you're brain damaged. You said you had high hopes that you would leave the abusive enviornment and everything would be ok & return to normal. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. One can not live though years of truamatic experience and then expect things to magically fall into place. You said you didn't have a "breakdown" so it seems like you're psyche is trying to disconnect to keep from facing the underlying trauma. You're probably feeling disconnected because you are finally free and your mind doesn't know how to process the new enviornment. Instead of having strong emotions coming on all at once, without dealing directly with the underlying trauma you will likely have years of this disconnected feeling and those underlying feelings coming at you slowly.

If it makes you feel any better it doesn't sound like there's anything abnormal about you. You just need to find yourself, and that entails working through the unhappy feelings from the enviornment you left. More than likely you have subconscious feelings you aren't even aware of. Sadly the school counseling staff you have been working with do not seem to be much help. Your lack of peer support only adds to your feelings of isolation and disconnectedness. Find someone to talk to, whether it be anonymously online in some forum or something. Preferably find another counselor to talk to; try hotlines or the local phone book to refer you to someone. You have a lot of work to do but if you are willing to tear down your psychological barriers things will be a lot better. You're not alone.

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