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I just don't know who, what, where I am

Posted By: Lisa <lisarddl@yahoo.com>
Date: 4 June 2009, at 1:45 p.m.

I am on the verge of crying most of the day but I don't/can't. I have been dealing with depression for about 30 years but have learned to avoid the suicidal ideation; not that I haven't thought about it. Right now it seems like I am on a treadmill; I keep moving but don't seem to be getting anywhere and not even sure where it is I want to go. I don't have a paying job but volunteer at a non-profit. Some how I have ended up managing it and it is getting harder and harder to push myself to come in. I don't want this responsibility, I don't want to be responsible. I just want to curl up in bed and shut out the rest of the world. Why do I keep getting out of bed every morning? Because a lot of people are counting on me and I hate it. I hate my life. And I don't want to live this life.

Messages in This Thread

• I just don't know who, what, where I am (views: 55)
  Lisa -- 4 June 2009, at 1:45 p.m.
  • Re: I just don't know who, what, where I am (views: 51)
    Someone -- 4 June 2009, at 9:42 p.m.
  • Re: I just don't know who, what, where I am (views: 47)
    Grady H -- 6 June 2009, at 3:14 a.m.

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