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I Just Want To DIe

Posted By: Aurora <angel_charm_baby@yahoo.com>
Date: 16 July 2009, at 2:59 a.m.

I just dont wanna live anymore. Im 31 years old, married for five years to mr perfect. He's smart, funny, popular, and attractive. Everything Im not. Im dumb, (high school dropout), dull, fat, and have no friends. I mean zero friends. I weigh over three hundred pounds. I have a disorder known as PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome). What that means is I cant have kids, I gain weight easily and its hard to get off, and I have excess body hair. I have to shave daily or people can see beard stubble. Not good for self esteem. Im lazy, Ill admit it. I dont clean house until my husband threatens to leave me. Then my mom comes in and cleans the house for me. Which makes me feel even worse. I want to kill myself but Im scared. Im just a failure. Every day is harder than the one before it. I pray that Ill just go to sleep and not wake up. I would never kill myself Im too much of a coward. But if I die by natural causes, that would be great. I just dont know how to go on. I know Im bi polar but I cant afford mental help. And I could never go to a psych ward, its my greatest fear, to be locked up. What do I do world. Im lost.

Messages in This Thread

• I Just Want To DIe (views: 53)
  Aurora -- 16 July 2009, at 2:59 a.m.
  • Re: I Just Want To DIe (views: 48)
    P -- 22 August 2009, at 5:24 p.m.

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