This is in response to a post that was from 2008 thought maybe I should post it in a new message hoping someone would read it since the other one was too long ago... NEW TO THE SITE SORRY! I know your post was like forever ago, and you're right secrets do make you sicker. Just go get help. I know its easier said then done. I still need to do so myself. And I wish they made someone really really qualified to help us and understand us, but holding it in doesnt help us and living a double life just fuels the fire. My husband has been threatening to divorce me if I cut for the longest time, and I havent cut for two years! I have been so proud! But now he is having some family issues and had to be away for a few weeks, and I am back to my pre-marriage self cutting again. It is the worst feeling ever. I am soo afraid of how he will react when he gets home. I know he will cry. He begged me NOT to do it, with tears in his eyes before he left (even though it has been two years). I completely ignored that and relapsed. Now I have more to fuel my reasons to cut. I have more to fuel all those emotions that I cant deal with. WE JUST NEED TO FIND PEOPLE WHO ARE QUALIFIED TO HELP US! I have searched and been to different therapists, I hope that all of you have been or will be successful on your search for help and to get better. Its a long road. I dont think you ever really get better. And I hope that your families come to understand and support this issue and realize they cant just ask you to stop but they cant just ignore it either.